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By Val Hemminger; Family Law Lawyer, Divorce Coach and creator of The Better Divorce Project
Hello and welcome to the Better Divorce Project. My name is Val Hemminger, founder and developer.
Along with a worldwide team of committed group of lawyers and support staff I have been developing this project to help individuals and couples - perhaps exactly like you, to navigate their own journey if they are getting a divorce.
As a bit of background, I want to share where my journey began. It may sound familiar to you.
Although I have been a divorce lawyer for over 25 years, when I went through my own separation, I got to feel first-hand how stressful the whole family law process can be. Although I thought I understood my clients’ fears, worries, and stresses, I had no idea how significant it would be until I experienced it myself.
When I was going through my separation after being with my husband for 18 years, I did not know what the future had in store. I faced many of the same fears you may be feeling.
There was a lot of uncertainty and I feared my husband would go after the house I loved and the business I had spent many years building.
I was also worried I would have to pay him significant spousal support because of the length of our marriage and the fact that he had stopped working years before. We have a daughter who was about 14 years old when we separated, and I was worried that our anger at each other (which was very intense then) would also impact her well-being.
Ultimately, I am glad we came to a legally binding separation agreement and avoided court entirely. We have an amicable parenting relationship so much so that I continue to be close to my former husband’s two older daughters (different Moms).
The separation process I went through has added to my big “WHY.”
My Big WHY is that I want to transform the family law industry for the better. Over many years of practice, I have seen devastating things happen to separating spouses and their children.
The devastating consequences were not just because the parties were grieving the loss of their marriage but because they got caught up in a toxic and very expensive legal framework.
Sometimes people hire the wrong kind of lawyer that needlessly drags them and their changing families through the cost and emotional turmoil of our court system. You don’t want to end up like those embroiled in the family law process and unwittingly involved in a high-conflict and high-cost dispute.
Most people getting divorced want to reach an amicable and fair agreement peacefully. They do not want their families dragged through the court system.
You are well aware that separating and getting a divorce can be complicated. Not to mention that your separation and divorce becomes even more complicated when children are involved.
Lawyers who practice family law must be less combative and people getting divorced need to arm themselves with better strategies for dealing with the complexities of the legal system without getting caught up in unnecessary expense and turmoil.
You don’t need a complicated divorce; you want an amicable stress-free divorce. It is my Dharma (personal duty) to help transform the toxic and broken family law industry one family and one lawyer at a time.
Val Hemminger has been a divorce lawyer for 25 years. She has developed the Be the Best Divorce Lawyer Method where she guides other lawyers through the methodology of having delighted clients, a well organized business and time for their own families, all the while feeling great about the work they do.
You can read a lot more about her work on our sister site, Be The Best Divorce Lawyer.
Disclaimer: The content of this website is only intended to act as a general overview of a legal topic and is not legal advice. It is information-based only.
All of the information is prefaced by assuming you live in a “ community property ” and “ no fault ” state, province, country, or territory. This article is written by a Canadian lawyer and has a Canadian perspective. The separation and divorce laws in the United States, Europe, Britain, Australia, New Zealand and other countries are all different.
For legal advice as it pertains to your legal situation, please consult with a family law lawyer in your specific jurisdiction.