The Joy Of Getting Divorced

Getting divorced or separated is something that most of us didn't expect would happen when we first fell in love, got married or had kids!

And yet, chances are you have landed on this site because you have either contemplated getting a divorce or are in the process of getting divorced.

Getting Divorced? You are why we are here

Which brings us back to the idea of joy.

You are probably on this site because you want to know how to navigate the often confusing and contradictory messages from friends, family, and social media.

And, although your marriage is likely coming to an end, chances are that you don't want to be in a high-conflict situation. I am pretty sure I can guarantee that you want it to be as smooth as possible, with a peaceful resolution that is a win for everyone involved including your children, extended family, pets, and maybe even your soon to be ex-spouse.

That would be a joyful outcome.

Unfortunately, of course, the journey of getting divorced isn't always a pleasant process. But at the end, if you and everyone else  feel that they have opened a new door from which a new experience of life can develop, there is plenty of room for joy.

Hello, I am Val Hemminger, a Divorce Lawyer based in British Columbia, Canada and creator of the Better Divorce Project. I have been in practice for over 25 years, representing thousands of families.

I obviously can't guarantee there won't be problems in your separation and divorce journey. You may even have big bumps along the way. However, I created this, the Better Divorce Project, because a significant problem for many people getting divorced is that they get caught up in costly misinformation which makes those bumps significantly worse.

The sad truth is that just about no-one is prepared for divorce. This means that you do not know what you do not know and as a result you can be easily influenced by emotional arguments, an influencer on social media, an emotional family member or friend or even worse, a lawyer whose favoured sport is litigation.

Reduce the drama if you are getting a divorce

Although family laws are designed to support you, it is possible that you will find yourself in uncharted territory. As a result, you need to protect yourself with quality information.

Unfortunately, parts of the family law industry are toxic and most people don't realize how broken it is. Don't let you and your changing family get swept up into its clutches.

You may even have heard horror stories from a friend or family member who has gone through the divorce process from hell. Believe me, in my 25+ years I have seen plenty of examples of these and it's not pretty. 

Don't let this be you:

• Spending countless thousands of dollars on legal fees.
• Many court applications with no end in sight. 
• Your kids being put in the middle of conflict causing profound emotional damage.
• Your case dragging on for many months, and even years.
• Your case is all-consuming so you have little time, energy, or resources for much of anything else.  
• The lawyers have charged exorbitant amounts in legal fees fighting your ex and have driven you farther apart rather than closer to resolution.

Even if you think you are heading for a high-conflict divorce, there are immediate strategies that you can use to reduce the drama and get you to a resolution. It may not seem like it now, but your future is closer than you think.

You will be able to get on with your life, health, well-being and happiness, not only for you but for your children and any other connected loved ones.

The Better Divorce Project provides strategies for you, your family, (and finances) by tapping into a unique and fresh approach to your divorce and separation.

The Better Divorce Project is where you will find tips, resources, and strategies to save you and your kids from unnecessary emotional turmoil and stress.

If you are getting divorced, this is the Better Divorce Project's approach

At The Better Divorce Project, we

• Believe it is the responsibility of family law professionals to assist families to get rid of the drama and reduce turmoil.
• Dedicate ourselves to transform the broken family law industry, one family and one lawyer at a time.
• Help people get a divorce to save themselves from the trap of exorbitant legal fees and soul-crushing stress. We achieve this by empowering them to understand what they are getting into.
  
  This way, people going through a divorce and separation can do their part to diffuse conflict and turmoil, and can be a key part of creating a final resolution.
  

Don't be the person who inadvertently hires a high-conflict divorce lawyer and ends up in costly litigation.

Because many divorce lawyers are unskilled in alternative dispute resolution methods, it means that your divorce lawyer can make things worse for you and your kids rather than better. A separating or divorcing family does not need gasoline thrown on the fire of what are already stressful circumstances.

Stick around and you will discover:

• Strategies and legal processes available to get you to a final, binding agreement (using court only as a last resort).

• You will understand your legal rights and obligations while discovering the best process to conclude your matter.

• When you are at the “ lawyering up ” stage, we may be in a position to help connect you with a lawyer who is not looking for their next litigation file, a lawyer who is qualified and trained using the BETTER Divorce Method ™ and dispute resolution strategies, thus saving you a ton of unnecessary drama and turmoil. If we don't have a lawyer to refer you to your jurisdiction, we will show you what you need to know to hire the right kind of lawyer when you need one.
• You will know when the right time is to hire a lawyer and have strategies in place to make sure you choose the best divorce attorney for your unique circumstances.
• You will have an overview of family law and what questions you need to have answered.
  

Whether you are well on your way to getting divorced or just thinking about it, the path will be clear to you.

Wherever you are in your journey, your goal is this:  To have a clear and legally binding final separation agreement.

Using this site, you will find answers to your questions such as:

• What your to-do list for your Divorce needs to contain.
• How to divorce a narcissist.
• How legal separation works.
• What divorce arbitration is and how it works.
• What children's rights are ( or should be ) after divorce.
• The difference between legal separation v. divorce.
• To find out if people are happier after divorce.
• What consciousness uncoupling is all about.
• Father's rights during divorce.
• How to choose the best family divorce lawyer.
• How to find the best information about child custody.
• How to go about dividing your property into divorce.
• What mediation resolves for you if you are getting divorced.

     . . . the list goes on and on and on . . . 

Utilizing The BETTER Divorce Project allows you to keep more of your hard-earned financial and emotional resources for you and your family rather than lining the pockets of your divorce lawyer.

It is with my honour and gratitude that I live, work, and play on the traditional territory of the Coast Salish peoples–Sḵwx̱wú7mesh (Squamish), Stó:lō and Səl̓ílwətaʔ/Selilwitulh (Tsleil-Waututh) and xʷməθkʷəy̓əm (Musqueam) Nations.

Disclaimer: The content of this website is only intended to act as a general overview of a legal topic and is not legal advice. It is information-based only.

All of the information is prefaced by assuming you live in a “ community property ” and “ no fault ” state, province, country, or territory. This article is written by a Canadian lawyer and has a Canadian perspective. The separation and divorce laws in the United States, Europe, Britain, Australia, New Zealand and other countries are all different.

For legal advice as it pertains to your legal situation, please consult with a family law lawyer in your specific jurisdiction.